By Sat Purkh Kaur Khalsa
Mother’s Day is this month. I’ve never been very good at “hallmark” holidays, and my mother knows it—so she doesn’t expect much from me. And when I take a moment to absorb that truth, it sort of breaks my heart; because I still expect everything from her. But then that’s what children do. They expect the world to be given to them—safe, secure, abundant and loving—and their mothers do their best to comply. They do everything possible to deliver the world to their children, if not a silver platter, then at least with a smile and a spoonful of honey. And when they fail, and they will, children do what children do when they don’t get what they want—throw a tantrum. We expect our Mother’s to be Divine Beings because they are; but we don’t allow them to be human (and they are human, too). Even as adult children we thrust these same impossible expectations on them—and they do their best to deliver.
It is said that you can never really understand your mother until you become one yourself; so there will always be that gap between me and my Mom. She loves me so fiercely that I sometimes want to ask her to “love me less,” because that kind of love demands the best—and sometimes I don’t feel up to the task. And then I see my friends who have children and witness the inestimable sacrifice it takes to become a mother; as a woman who’s lived the majority of her life alone, I simply cannot comprehend the selflessness it takes. I can only worship it—Jai Ma, Jai Ma Jai Ma! Mothers all over the world make sacrifices for their children; and most children simply take it for granted because it’s what mothers and children do.
But imagine that same selflessness, that same sacrifice, that same love, that same compassion dwelling within you as your own Guru Dev, your inner Teacher. Imagine that inner light shining and blessing everything you touch, every action you take, every word you say—to yourself and others. If we can comprehend the love of our mothers for us, then we can begin to comprehend the love of God. Yet most of us are still trapped in mother phobias that block us from the light of God, from our own inner light. Men act out their mother phobia by making effort after effort to demean women, or better yet to convince women to demean themselves; it’s a systemic, cultural phobia acted out each and every day in the West. Women act out their mother phobia through acting out, living from a self-righteous anger that takes them nowhere—the ultimate “rebel without a cause.” Yet, if we can transcend our mother phobia and truly begin to recognize the Divine presence within our mothers, we will begin to taste the love of God and smell the fragrance of the Guru. Then we can awaken to a self-forgiveness and self-love that would change our relationship to our self, to others—and to our mothers—smile.
Happy Mother’s Day, mom. I love you. Jai Ma!
Sat Purkh Kaur Khalsa is a writer, editor, poet, singer and songwriter—and a pretty good cook, too. She serves as Editor and Creative Director of the Kundalini Research Institute. She has made three albums of sacred music including Queen Bee, Nectar of the Name and Beautiful Day. She is the author of Everyday Grace: The Art of Being a Woman, an introduction to women’s teachings of Yogi Bhajan. She lives with her two cats Fatty and Slim, and her dog, Vinnie. http://satpurkh.blogspot.com/