Kundalini Yoga and Negritude

My name is Siri Brahm Kirin Kaur. I have just returned from Brazil where I have constantly and little by little built my yogic lifestyle for the past eleven years. Now I am teaching Kundalini Yoga especially for women and pregnant women, while leading workshops on topics surrounding rebirth and transgenerational therapies in France.

You know what? I never felt that I was really and clearly mistreated socially or professionally because of my color.

Childhood and Family

I was born in Paris. My mom was born in Guadeloupe, a beautiful island in the French Caribbean, and my father was born in Ivory Coast. They met in Paris while studying law (her) and economics (him). Now more than ever, after all these years and being a 40 year old Aquarian woman and mother of three incredible crystal beings, I understand that my parents' skills and intelligence have been a blessing.

But in reality this last statement could also apply to a white person.

I studied in very good schools and was a good student, until I met my first boyfriend as a teenager, and also when the competition in high school started to make academic education more like performance than learning with pleasure. I then started to lose my alignment. But it could also have happened to a white person. So far, there is no distinction from the background of a white teenage girl.

It is likely that some professors had questionable thoughts about my results or about who I was. I don't remember anything specific at this point. Can I say here that I was lucky? I prefer the negative answer. I do not accept being treated ‘normally’ as being lucky. It should be common, not just luck: to go to school, get an education, fall in love with whoever you want, have excellent and then less good academic results, understand the future and what you want to become in life, etc.

Awakening the Kundalini

Having started my adult life, my soul guided me to travel abroad as a student to other French cities, Cuba and Brazil. Then I came back to France to work in corporate banking and tourism. This is where I discovered Kundalini Yoga: between two trips and in professional confusion where I felt that something in my alignment was really wrong—not and that I had to sign a contract with God. I was simply unable to focus on the right things in my daily life. I was stressed. But again, it can really happen to anyone.

However, I am hypersensitive and I have often been very touched by the misery of people, of children, of war in the world. I had shed tears in the past watching movies and seeing paintings which showed the conditions of slaves. I was involved in humanitarian causes, and I even read and researched books, events, and lectures related to specific topics of Negritude. Here I want to ask, should we all have this same sensitivity? YES or NO. This is a real question for debate. What makes the dark cause so powerful and structurally alive over the centuries?

Kundalini Yoga came into my life when I needed to align with myself and when I needed to stop lying to myself, just like any practitioner. The mantras I am who I am, and I am beautiful, bountiful and blessed I know deep inside me are made for me! And I'm grateful for everything they've given me. But it already existed deep within and had only been awakened by practice and this is one of my biggest messages today.

Identification

Of course, I have felt incredibly welcome, welcomed and at ease in the midst of certain black communities because of the identifying aspect of the gathering and certain values. But also on several occasions this identification did not occur while experiencing other mixed feelings or uneasiness during certain gatherings or meetings with blacks. It actually depends on who I wanted to be. The soul is colorless and the freedom to choose dating over a rainbow color palette is balm for her!

Having settled this, then now and only now can I say I'm lucky—for letting my cells feel true freedom. I have seen as a healer so many white people, and people of different cultures, trapped in their minds or even in material poverty, that I realize that my racial issues are definitely real, but no struggle with my identity can stop me from achieving my purpose in life. (Let me confess to you that Krishna Kaur was my great inspiration when I started Kundalini Yoga and she was the one and only black teacher I met during the entire 2009 summer solstice! I was quite surprised and a little disappointed. But it proves that identifying with who or anything cannot be an end in itself.)

I Am

Today, I use my gifts, my knowledge, my challenges, as well as my personality to go through the painful moments of humanity with grace and nobility. Knowing that I have something worthy to do in life, I am worth seeing and I deserve abundance. Yes, I'm lucky for that. Freedom is therefore not just a word for me; it must be honored, and this in my case, especially since many of my ancestors did not taste the flavor.

My duty is to be present at all times, to breathe happiness and bring this joy to the outside as my soul name demands: Siri is resplendent, Brahm is a potential of the divine, Kirn is Light, Kaur is a princess. What more can I ask the Universe for?

One of my talents is to see a blessing in being able to say that it is very important for me to have been born from a vaginal birth and natural. Because it gave me strength for a lifetime. I can also say that with this freedom I gave life through three natural births at home and in water. Because these are alternative ways in which human beings could and should pay more attention to healing themselves beyond the color of their skin, when it comes to defining themselves.

And if sharing the same planet is not enough for us to be one and the same spirit, then I believe that remembering every second of the greatness of the universal creation within my cells is a salvation. My way of being the best Shakti possible.

Sat Nam.

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